Gemdilem, Poleski and Carlsberg, take on the youth of Australia at the 2009 Big Day Out in Sydney!
Approx 10am… The day begins…
Gemdilem: It is hot. It is humid. I think I have lost 5kg in sweat and I’m not even at Homebush yet. Lets face it just getting to the BDO in Sydney is a mission. Thanks to the retardness of the Sydney public transport system. A journey that takes 0.5hr by car takes 1.5 hrs by public transport. Awesome. Thanks shity-rail.
Poleski: As I wait at central station I am bemused by all the youths clinging with hope that the 2006 Modular-started trend on Fluro might still live on. Hot pink cut offs. Why?
Carlsberg: I am very glad that I have brought my notebook, so I could make note of an early beauty overheard on the train to Sydney Olympic Park…
Underage girl: Should I just say they’re for personal use? They’ll let me off if I say that won’t they?
Carlsberg: I fear for the future of this country.
Gemdilem: Hopefully a depression will sort them out.
Gemdilem: Despite the 40 police and sniffer dogs at the train station when we get off, the underage girl doesn’t get caught. *sigh* There is no justice in this world.
Poleski: As I get to the main gate the line is ridiculous. I don’t do lines/queues. Don’t you know who I am? I don’t do nice at the BDO. Time to think quick-smart kids… I head to the beverage cart parked half way down the line. I’m thirsty and want to push in (the token festival emo band is about to start PEOPLE!!!). I get in pronto, powered by emo loving.
Gemdilem: The line getting in is painful. It is long. It is hot. People pass out.
Poleski: I am sitting on the grass, watching emos. Life is awesome and worthwhile, but do the kids think so? Was that someone cutting themselves?
Carlsberg: After the pain of the train we battle through the always ridiculous crush at the gates. Once inside we quickly find the Whitest Person Alive, aka Poleksi, sitting on the grass listening to the emos (Getaway Plan).
Gemdilem: Poleski is humming away, completely oblivious to the rest of the world. She is in her happy place.
Poleksi: The emos finish. Now time to cut yourself and get smashed.
Carlsberg: Jeans = clothing fail. So many people wearing jeans! Why??
Eddy Current Suppression Ring – Converse Stage
Carlsberg: Eddy, two things:
- Your name is too long. Even saying ECSR is too long. So you will be forever called Eddy.
- It’s only because of you that we’re here this early. I could be in air con right now. Hence, anything that happens from here on in is your fault.
Gemdilem: First band of the day… great way to start… once more Eddy did not disappoint.
Poleski: I stand by my comment that Eddy is the man for Mrs Pop. He obviously has no attention span! All the cool kids are here being cool. ECSR rip through their set. Each song as energetic and rockin as the next! If you didn’t see them in 2008 then what have you been doing with yourself? I think only the rumour of a ‘princess chair’ incorporated into The Grates set could top this.
Carlsberg: Eddy is awesome. ‘Bass drum is what we need’ Brendan says. He is right. Loving the nervous twitch. Glad he is only rocking both legs sparingly, as it is really hot. Also glad he is wearing shorts with those gloves, even though they make the gloves look less hardcore.
Gemdilem: He has such skinny legs!
Gemdilem: After Eddy we set off on a mission to get 18+ wristbands, locate the Lizard Lounge and get beer. Poleksi has got us all guest tickets and Lizard Lounge wristbands. We aren’t sure what it all means but we figure it is probably something good. Just the name Lizard Lounge sounds cool.
Poleski: Why do people make it so hard to get drunk? Seriously. 40 minutes to get the right wristbands. We went to guest services to swap our guest tickets for wristbands which will give us access to shade, no queues and pee/vom free bathrooms (I am old. I need my comforts ok). Turns out they don’t have 18+ wristbands at guest services. We suggest it might be a good idea so that their ‘guests’ don’t have to go on a separate mission to get them. Light bulbs go off all round.
Gemdilem: We stop off at guest services and get a white and brown wristband. I have no idea what it is for.
Poleski: We go to get 18+ wristbands. Underage kids hover trying to slip past security.
Gemdilem: We walk around in circles trying to find the Lizard Lounge. I am getting frustrated, hot and I just want beer.
Poleski: We see a sign for the Lizard Lounge. The sign leads us up and down levels. Where is this Lizard Lounge you speak of? We eventually find our way but have lost all faith in festival signage. And then we are denied entry. I have not walked around for 40 minutes to be denied entry and made to go back to a world of sun stroke and vom covered facilities. I ask the lady nicely. I don’t think she wants to see me cry. I will cry. We get let in.
Gemdilem: Lizard Lounge success. Finally.
Gemdilem: The Lizard Lounge is like walking into heaven. 2 bars (no line), space, table and chairs, toilets (clean and no line), gourmet food, balcony with seating and a view of the two main stages. I settle in with a few beers and the best tandoori chicken wrap ever. I contemplate the idea of not moving for the rest of the day.
Carlsberg: Lizard Lounge rocks. Toilets, no bar queues, shade, seats, free Chupa Chups, being able to see the general public without actually having to touch them. Win!
Poleksi: Lizard Lounge sux. Where is the grass area for rolly pollies and antics?
Carlsberg: Waiting for the Grates. Hurry up Patience (ha!). Loads of people are watching Birds of Tokyo. What? Maybe people do like the bands on the main stage. Maybe it’s just us?
Poleksi: The kids love Birds of Tokyo. Who is this band? Really. We thought they were Children Collide until I noticed the guy is wearing white. Children Collide do not do white. Waiting for The Grates. Rumour has it Patience will be performing from a Princess chair after stacking it at Falls. The suspense.
The Grates – Blue main stage
Gemdilem: Despite being in the Lizard Lounge and a fair distance from the action the energy and pure awesome-ness of the performance is not lost. The Grates are awesome!
Carlsberg: Patience is wearing a marching girl costume. Ah the excitement! She is shimmying with a distinct limp. Poor Patience! No minus points to her awesomeness though.
Gemdilem: Trampoline, Science is Golden and all their recent hits have the crowd begging for more. Fantastic performance. Patience looks fabulous!
Poleski: We use to see these kids play at Spectrum to a half full room and now they have a stadium eating out of their hands… It brings a tear to my eye. PS. I’m losing my shit obvs (obvs.. that’s how the kids say obviously these days).
Carlsberg: Is she blonde? It’s hard to tell with the marching hat. Marching hat is off. Yes! She is blonde!
Gemdilem: Do you think Patience looks a bit like Courtney Love?
Carlsberg: No Gemdilem, she does not look like Courtney Love, I think it’s just your eyes.
Poleksi: I have a lime, and I will throw it at you.
Poleksi attempts to throw the lime at Carlsberg but drops it instead.
A quick look at the timetable and we realise there is no one on the main stage that we want to see. We must leave the Lizard Lounge and re-enter the real world.
Poleski: Remember when the kids used to dress up and not dress down. CROCHET BIKINIS ARE EVERYWHERE. Ho bags. And to think our mums thought we looked easy dressing like Courtney love back in ’98.
Ting Tings – Green stage
Gemdilem: Timetable fail. Who thought that putting the Ting Tings on the small stage was a good idea?
Carlsberg: Who the fuck decided it was a good idea to put the Ting Tings on the side stage when Cog are playing the main stage? I know they have the bogan factor to cater for, but what about the teeny bopper factor? And what about us? No That’s not my name for us.
Poleski: FAIL.
Carlsberg: It’s really effing hot.
It is too packed to see anything or go anywhere. We decide to escape the crowds by going to Lilyworld.
LilyWorld
Gemdilem: When in doubt go to Lilyworld for hangouts and antics. Also a great place for bad tattoo spotting.
Carlsberg: Have things changed here or what? It just doesn’t seem as crazy as it used to. It used to be about the craziness, now it’s about the Facebook photos. At least there is shade.
Black Kids – Converse Stage
Carlsberg: We head to Black Kids. This is who I’m here for, so they better bloody rock. They do!
Gemdilem: I wasn’t expecting much. But then the Black Kids start to play and they are great. Surprise act of the day! Party tunes to the max. But it’s too hot to dance! They end the set with I’m Not Going to Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You. Crazy times.
Carlsberg: Oh my god it’s hot. Can’t. Stop. Dancing. Even in this heat my feet refuse to stay still. They are adorable. So surprised people know their songs. Maybe it’s heat stroke? Regardless, they are fantastic. Worth my double layer sunburn to hear their gorgeous tunes.
Poleksi: Fuck these kids make you dance. Who thought something good could come out of Florida? Not me. A two album band no doubt but fuck it’s going to be a fun two albums.
Southern Cross tattoos vs really dumb tattoos
Time to look at our tattoo scoreboard:
Southern Cross tattoos = 22
Really dumb tattoos = 27
Special mentions:
- Ned Kelly + ‘True Blue’ + giant Southern Cross = our dream man!
- The solar system on the stomach
- Deftones around an arm, Connor on the stomach
- Giant Southern Cross with a different pattern in each star
- Spiderman tattoo covering the entire back
But the clear winner is the crazy bikini / board short wearing girl with the following across the top of her back: “I do as I please and I please those I do.” I bet you do.
Poleksi: I think I am going to get a map of Poland tattooed on my back.
Gemdilem: Poleski that is so un-Australian.
Carlsberg: Poleksi, are you writing notes in Polish? I don’t understand what you have written in my notepad.
TV On The Radio – Green stage
Carlsberg: TV On The Radio is ‘reason for being here #2′. My god, my ears. They are hurting. What in baby Jesus’s name is happening with this sound? The vocals sound right, but the rest is a mess.
Gemdilem: Victim of poor festival sound. It is really bad.
Carlsberg: Big call for Wolf Like Me to be third song. Somehow this alleviates my guilt at leaving. We depart, no longer able to bear the sound and the heat. Have I mentioned it’s hot? Feel like my brain is melting. This is surely the heat of death.
Gemdilem: This is awful… my beer is warm because I can’t drink it quick enough… stupid heat.
Carlsberg: Jumbo lemonade. Mmm sugar cold, cold sugar.
Lupe Fiasco – Boiler Room
Carlsberg: Looks like the rest of the BDO had the same idea – escape the heat by going to the Boiler Room. This move is more about shade than it is about Lupe, but damn he is good. Seeing Lupe with no shirt and his pants down to about his knees reminds us to issue a warning. Please think again when considering taking your shirt off when you’re surrounded by 50,000 sweaty people. I know you have those awesome Southern Cross tattoos to show off, but there are other factors at play here. If you’re a cut black dude by the name of Lupe, it’s fine. If you’re not, it’s probably not fine.
Gemdilem: Lupe is jumping around like a mad man so much so he nearly loses his jeans. His white undies are on show. Hilarious. It’s worth going to the boiler room just to see this. The highlights are Superstar and Daydreamin’. He owns the stage, he is a showman.
Carlsberg: We catch all his hits, except Kick Push / Push Kick whatever it’s called, and he sounds mighty fine. He looks so tiny on that stage, but his moves more than make up for it. Special mention to his Swan Lake impersonation, and downstairs dancing on the floor.
Carlsberg: I buy Chips (Mr Carlsberg) the most awesome Hot Chip t-shirt, because it has owls on it and I like owls. I refrain from purchasing a “Sneaky” t-shirt. Are they dropping the “Sound System?”
Pendulum – Blue main stage
Gemdilem: We head back to Lizard Lounge (aka heaven) to see the end of Pendulum’s performance. The arena is packed (the most packed it would ever be that day). People brave the heat and dance up a storm. The sea of bodies moving in time with the music is mesmerising to watch. They play Propane Nightmares and everyone goes nuts. Circle pits pop up everywhere. People are getting thrown in the air. It is madness.
Carlsberg: It is packed. Like beyond packed, with the whole main stage going crazy. Again I ask, am I missing something?
Poleksi: Pendulum – when did this happen?
Gemdilem: Do you guys not listen to Triple J? The kids love Pendulum.
Serj Tankian – Orange main stage
Carlsberg: I like his hat. That’s the best thing I can say about that hour. Thank God I have a seat.
It’s still hot.
Gemdilem: Beer drinking time.
Cut Copy – Green stage
Carlsberg: Low expectations. I have heard they are having a break and heading overseas. Australian promoters will all surely struggle to fill their spot on festival lineups if true.
Gemdilem: They sound amazing. It is definitely the best Cut Copy live performance I have ever seen. They play a b-side called Sands of Time which sounds pretty good. Lights and Music goes off!
Poleski: So many glowsticks. If only Mrs Pop was here.
Carlsberg: Expectations exceeded. They sound strangely awesome. Cue conversation between myself and Gemdilem about Cut Copy hey days and seeing them with only 20 people there. Clearly those days are over, but this takes me back to when they were the shit. Inability to stop dancing continues.
Gemdilem: The cowbell is a very nice addition to their music.
Carlsberg: Some people say the cowbell has had its time and now it is no longer cool, but we all know those people are morons.
Carlsberg: Rumour confirmed, Cut Copy are off overseas for two years! Gasp! Two Homebakes / Field Days / Big Day Outs / Parklifes etc etc with no Cut Copy!
Carlsberg: We have lost Poleksi. Man down! Several confusing messages later we head to Hot Chip, doubting Poleksi will want to delight in their goodness and assuming she is off to find free tequila.
Poleski: I hate music. I hate crowds. I hate live entertainment. I hate the youth. Retirement is going to sux a fat one.
Hot Chip – Boiler Room
Carlsberg: Hot Chip makes me go all funny inside. Maybe it’s because they are massive nerds? Not even cool nerds, but dweeby nerds?
Gemdilem: We got there at the most perfect time for hit after hit. Dance offs to the extreme. Totally infectious beats. I heart nerds.
Carlsberg: They sound fabulous. My dancing feet continue. They pump out the hits, each sounding better than the last. Last time I saw them they didn’t have a full band. This time there is a whole stage full of nerds!
Gemdilem: I want more. I can’t believe this is the first time I have seen Hot Chip live.
Carlsberg: Hot Chip finish. We are sad. Sadness quickly evaporates and is replaced by desperation to leave the Boiler Room when we realise Pee Wee Ferris is on next. How is he not dead yet?
Gemdilem: Pee Wee Ferris? Isn’t he like from 10 years ago… Why is he still called Pee Wee? Surely he should have a more grown up name by now?
Gemdilem: Stupid people are breaking large fluro tubes and then rolling around in the fluro gell stuff. Toxic? Yes. Idiots. People are dancing on wheelie bins. Get me out of this nightmare!
Neil Young – Blue main stage
Carlsberg: One last sit down. I have never seen so many people sitting on the main stage grass. I am seriously going to fall asleep if I listen to a full song.
Gemdilem: I know he is a rock n roll legend but he is seriously the wrong choice for the Big Day Out. What were they thinking? FAIL. There is hardly anyone watching him. I feel sorry for him. All the kids are trying to push their way to the Boiler Room for The Prodigy.
Poleski: I have been in hiding for the last few hours… fearing sun down. The kids go crazy at sundown. The stadium emptied out the minute the monkey’s left the stage. People make mention of going to Prodigy. I laugh. Will people never learn? If you aren’t in the Boiler room by 7pm you ain’t seeing the headliner. Have fun sitting round for 2 hours, hugging the ground and feeling the music. P.S. later reports suggested Prodigy were nuts. 1996 lives on.
Carlsberg: Chips (aka best fiance ever) arrives at Sydney Olympic Park to drive us home.
Gemdilem: I love you Chips! No shity rail for us! Hometime…
Overall
Carlsberg: Overall it was a very hot day, tattoos are definitely getting worse and people are getting dumber.
Gemdilem: It was a great day. Highlights had to be Eddy, Cut Copy, The Grates, and Black Kids. I am grateful that people have such bad tattoos to keep us amused all day. I think I might be getting too old for this.
Poleski: It was boiling. I’m moving back to the 2nd world where I can happily be pale. I fear for our future. What is happening to our youth? Despite all this it was yet another epic BDO. This thing is a machine. It’s the festival we will also have a brutally passionate love / hate relationship with… Can’t wait for 2010…
